Tonight I found a cell phone in the bathroom at a restaurant. It was unlocked.
I quickly looked at the Facebook page for a name.
Then I got nosy and looked at the pictures and saw an album full of shits floating in toilet bowls. I assume it was a trophy gallery. I pulled one photo up of a shit so that the next person who opens the phone sees it.
Outside the door awaited the shit trophy guy. I handed him his phone with a smile.